I am not afraid of the yeast.

Let's see if I can get this right:
I can say it's easily understood, if not documented, I enjoy a well lived life.
I believe that it's understood, but NOT documented, that I've had some ups and downs and numerous challenges..
(the reason that I know it's not documented is because if anyone else tried to write it down it wouldn't be close to as funny as what really happened and I have it on firm faith {yes me faith} that if I did sit down and write it all down it would equate into a huge offering from some Hollywood wheeler and dealer and end with a HUGE paycheck at which point I'd immediately purchase condos in some of my favorite cities and begin my rounds of visits/escapes and have two to three family members kidnapped into white slavery.. tho I am considering other options they may enjoy better.. jus until they learned a real lesson and were sorry.. for everything. Then we'd let them come back.. and put em on a farm. Somewhere else.)
Anyway.
I think it's fair to say that while I have a horrid memory I have some wonderful memories of growing up. I have tear inducing memories of houses that no longer stand and people who are no longer with us physically. I have joy in my soul because of my angels that I know. I know that life will be ok because of faith learned from watching exactly how we came to be. I know where my anchor is. Where my glue is. Where my heart is.
Where the HELL is she goin with all of this you ask?
It began with a "job" --- the task of organizing my momma is no small task.. And if I pull it off without one of us livin in a "Home" it'll be pure miracle.. But part of the job was one that came from my heart.. I wanted her to have an organized place for all of "her" recipes.. the faithful 'go-to's' that you know will work, that you've handed down, that people ask for at every family gathering (or know better than to expect at anytime but holidays) not only for her to know where they are but also for her to be able to pass down.. not jus to me.. I've already made off with those that I am interested in anyway.. but to Libby... to Kel.. to the girls.. to Buster and Hissy when it comes time for them to leave the nest(s).
Then it was followed up by a frantic phone call from my mother when she found out I'd absconded with her recipe folder. Where folder means a bright pank (not pink) folder that she thieved from some Hello Kitty third grader.. it's that pink. THEN it was followed up with a lecture that I'd gotten them out of order.
"there was an order there? I didn't know lumped together was an order" -- nope.. she didn't slap me.
Then she promptly started tearin through the thing.. and finally answered me with what she was lookin for. An old recipe. One that wasn't there. I know. I looked.
The last angelic prompting came in the form of Mattchew, my Granny's favorite. asking on Good Friday..
All of this leads to Libby laughing at me while I (apparently screamed) chanted from the kitchen "I am not afraid of the yeast, I am not afraid of the yeast, I am not afraid of the yeast"

You see.. ever the baker I am afraid of yeast. It's alive. It's finicky. I'm afraid of killing things that don’t need killing (on the other hand.. that there man.. he needed killin I am tellin you~!)

I attempted to recover from my fear back in Atlanta when I made Cinnabon Bread for K'bert and Ale but that wasn't a good startin off recipe I later found through internet research (meaning using Google.) because it said to mix the yeast pieces/particles/beings into warm milk and the magical Google search says:
Yeast doesn't mix well into milk products you nitwit.

Pity the fool who can't access Google, huh?

Yet this recipe.. that I have found by changing the spelling of what I was looking for (PLUCKETTES .. hello, we're French/Acadian.) to PLUCK-ITs.
Duh. Not everyone is French. Cajun. Whatever. Stupid other heritages.

And so with some searching/trolling and near tears I found several things out.
1. I would have to recover from my fear of yeast.
2. I must really love my family and memory of Gram doing this to even think of trying.
3. This was gonna be involved. Messy.
oh but if it was worth it... how nice.

And we're off.. Ready?

First.. you make a Hot Roll Mix.
5 lbs all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
4 teaspoons salt
1 cup instant nonfat dry milk powder

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Stir together to distribute evenly. Pat in a large airtight container. Label. Store in a cool, dry place. Use within 6 to 8 months. Makes about 22 cups of Hot Roll Mix.

If you're brave you half that because Margaret would turn purple if you managed to make all of that.. and it's fun to use math skills you don’t possess. (seriously. Math isn't my strong point!)

Then you pull out the following formulation and you proceed with great trepidation and occasional shouts/screams to the livin room where your mother, goddess of all things yeast based (mostly Stollen) sits and ignores the majority of your cries.

Ingredients:
1 tb Active dry or 1; (1/4 packet)
1 1/2 c Lukewarm water; (110F)
2 beaten eggs
1/4 c Veg oil or melted butter
5 c HOT ROLL MIX; (see recipe above)
3 ts Ground cinnamon
3/4 c sugar
1/2 c Melted butter
Instructions:
Makes one large pan of rolls In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in water (I used the digital therm to figure out my water was exactly 108.4 degrees). Blend in eggs and oil or margarine. Add 5 cups of HOT ROLL MIX. Stir well. Add more HOT ROLL MIX to make a soft dough. Knead about 5 minutes, until dough is smooth. Lightly butter bowl. Put dough in bowl and turn to butter top. Cover dough with a damp towel and let rise in a warm place until doubled about 1 hr. punch down dough. Roll dough into walnut size balls. Combine cinnamon and sugar in a bowl. Dip balls into melted butter or margarine and roll in cinnamon-sugar mixture. Layer pecans amongst balls Pile loosely in an ungreased tube pan. Let rise until doubled about 30 min. Preheat oven to 400F. Bake about 10 min. Lower temperature to 350F and continue baking 30 min until golden. Loosen edges with a knife and turn out onto a plate Rolls can be plucked off one at a time.

(Posted to recipelu-digest Volume 01 Number 547 by Midian125 on Jan 17, 19)

Here's what I learned. I used about 2 sticks of butter while rolling balls and pouring what I hadn’t used over the top.. I remember distinctly Gram doing this.. Don't ask why.. but I also found out later that Granny says Gram musta used about a pound of butter.. and I used about half of that.. so next time I'd prolly pour extra butter in with the pecans and cinna sugar layers to make like a tasty caramel stickiness that my memory remembers.. But I must say.. half the butter none of the stickiness equaled a really YUMMY coffee break with half the sisters and a couple cousins on a Sunday afternoon. Matthew was happy. Granny said I can keep practicin since they were so good she'd eat the outcomes.. The people at work gobbled up what I brought them.

Life is good. Even if I don't have a screen play in negotiations.. yet.. I still need some time to research how you have someone kidnapped ... or other options.


Happy baking.. and happy memories.
~Much